As for bad people in the system, this is a pretty universal phenomenon. All social groups suffer from frictions. However, there are inherent design flaws in the current educational system model. Only homeschooling , democratic schooling , or unschooling make it possible to fully resolve all issues above, incl.
I wish I had dropped out. I know that kids hate school, but the list in the search box was still striking. The school makes kids feel, I quote literally: The negative vibe of that list defies belief, so I repeated the search myself and found only minor differences: In case you think that people google only for solutions to problems, you will notice that the same experiment for jogging or exercise will likely produce suggestions such as jogging makes me happy or exercise raises my endorphins.
For balance, let's consider why kids like school.
What to Do if You Don't Like School
Nearly all teens hate school, but some would say they like school conditionally. For example " I hate school, but I love to meet my friends there ". Or, " I hate school, but I love physical education ". Or " I love German, but I hate English ". I found just one case of a kid with a genuine liking for school. Freddy is 11 years old. He comes from a very well regulated family. There is no TV at home. Freddy and his siblings all started reading early. There was no distraction from YouTube or videogames. There were regular bedtime stories with his mom and dad. Freddy goes to sleep at It is his mom who keeps a rigorous lights out regimen.
Freddy wakes up naturally, usually around 6 am. This is pretty unique and this might be his first step towards success. His sisters call him a crammer, but they never see him doing homework. He claims to spend 30 min.
Sometimes he does his homework already at school during breaks. In his fourth year of English, he does not speak English much, but still stands out among kids of his age in his good comprehension. Freddy is one of the best students at school. He is also a great footballer and an incredible unflagging long-distance runner. In short, his formula for liking school seems to look like this: Everyone likes to win. Unfortunately, in his class of 23 incl. In the chapter on traps awaiting good students , I explain that liking for school or good grades are not always good.
In the case of Freddy, I see some not-so-positive signs too:. Arian is 16 years old. I have known her since she was in diapers. When she was 11, she was a smiling, happy, precocious, and cocky girl. I spoke to Arian about homeschooling. She insisted she would not like to be homeschooled because school is " so marvellous ". She literally tried to argue with an old memory expert: I learn a lot from school ". However, things took a dramatic turn when Arian graduated from her 6-year primary school and moved to a middle school.
There she encountered the problem of bullying. Amazingly, part of that bullying came from good students who wanted to play better "game of school" the concept first criticized by Holt. Bullying sparked truancy, problems with grades, and the escalation of bullying spiral. Bad grades, in turn, caused frictions at home. At the age of 14, on Oct 17, , Arian ran from home!
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For full four days, her parents and five siblings lived in horror. The equivalent of orange alert was raised and countrywide search was undertaken. In the meantime, I tried to be helpful and talk to her friends about possible problems at school. I came back to her parents with "good news": She also cut her hair short on the day of disappearance. In parallel, that hypothesis was confirmed by police by tracking her phone activity, and locating her friend Nina who confirmed Arian was alive and well. She was also seen boarding a train.
"I hate school"
Within 24 hours, on Oct 21, , Arian was detained in a remote city of Torun and returned home with apologies. Arian put that number lower. Her mom enrolled her in a different school. Two years later, she was doing well at home, and ok at school. She participated in beta-testing of one of the SuperMemos showcasing her smarts and potential. However, she also joined her teen crowd in the hate of schooling. She had nothing good to say about her new school experience.
I urged her to try for college, however, in , she was sent to a reform school in Warsaw. Her future is unclear. She praises her reform school for the rigor and discipline that helps her organize her life, however, when I mentioned democratic schools , she instantly changed her mind: I would love this kind of freedom! My feelings about school evolved from enthusiasm first grade , to lack of interest, to dislike high school , to high appreciation last year of college , to harsh criticism today.
I suffer from a sort of "documentation OCD". From early childhood, I obsessively documented all experiences of my young life. In high school, I started writing diaries with precise notes, dates, facts and figures. I also embarked onto a comprehensive project: This exercise helped me understand how unreliable human memory is when it comes to picturing one's own childhood. All in all, my top of the head answer about my childhood feelings about schools would be " I hated school ".
However, this would be just a convenient recall in the context of this article. In a different context, I might say " I liked schools " or " I loved learning ". When I dig into details, I can bring back hundreds of moments ranging from fear to elation or euphoria. For this project, I pulled out lots of dusty details from my past using my precise record of notes. However, when it comes to figuring out why kids hate school, I decided to rely on face-to-face interviews most of all. My own investigation Obviously, both Willingham and Gray are right. What kids hate most about school I put primary kid gripes into the following categories prioritized from the worst to the least significant.
For a variety of reasons, they may be reluctant to allow your child to change classes or deal with a bully — and your anger can make the situation much worse. It may take some time, but stay composed and persistent, and good things will happen. He was disruptive, sometimes talking to his classmates or fidgeting loudly at his desk.
My kids hate school. Can you blame them?
Could it be ADD? Attention deficit disorder is a common problem, particularly among boys. Symptoms vary from an inability to concentrate for more than a few minutes to an almost complete inability to sit still, often to the point of classroom disobedience. This extreme form is called attention deficit hyperactivity disorder ADHD. Both versions can take years to come to a head — usually not until grade three or four — by which time school is a daily struggle for these kids.
Sitting at the back of the classroom, I kept an eye on him. His eyes lit up and he dashed out the door as soon as I handed over the missive. Later, I suggested he ask whether the teacher needed help erasing the blackboard. He was only too happy to do so. For Colin, this was a very effective coping strategy. An educational psychologist can suggest whether it might work with your child.
The most common cause is a learning disability. Learning disabilities, which were once all lumped under the heading of dyslexia, are rooted in the brain structure and can take many forms. Some are easy to spot, such as frequent reversal of letters, but other forms can take years to become obvious, including auditory processing problems or difficulties interpreting or manipulating numbers.
Unlike phobias, these attacks have no real trigger or cause — just a rush of extreme fear, to the point of panic. If they frequently happen at school, kids can become school-phobic, associating the place they occur with the horrible feelings of panic. Very shy children can also experi-ence severe anxiety.
Being called upon to answer in class, or even mix with other kids at recess, causes tremendous fear. Parents and teachers may try to help by pushing these kids to participate more, but that always backfires, making the kids even more afraid. The sooner the better. We've sent an email with instructions to create a new password. Your existing password has not been changed.